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October 6, 2008 – I love to bowl. It’s been one of my hobbies since I was a kid and I’m pretty decent at it. I have my own ball, my own shoes and I can throw a pretty mean hook. So when I spend $4.99 on a bowling game for the iPhone, I’m expecting some sort of realism to my bowling experience. I’m still waiting for that experience.
You choose between six different bowlers in either Free Play or Versus mode (vs. another human or computer) and begin your game. Before each throw, you choose between one of three different balls. Some are lighter than others. Some roll fast while others roll slow. The game’s faults start right from the beginning because it’s a crapshoot as to what weight you’ll pick up, and for some reason heavier balls love to gravitate towards the gutter.

Using your finger, you slide your bowler to the left or right. Once you let go, you then flick upwards to bowl. Flick in a straight line and you throw it dead center. Veer a bit to the left or right and the ball angles in that direction. It doesn’t actually hook, it just moves across the board. Increase the difficulty and the ball goes everywhere when you try and ‘hook’ it. Why they didn’t just make a swing and hook meter (like in golf games) is beyond me. But then it wouldn’t be called Flick Bowling, would it?

Pin physics are non-existent. The pins just sort of fall to the left or right and there is zero pin action. Even if you hit the 5 pin just to the right on a 5-7 split, the pin won’t fly far enough to hit the 7 pin. Ever. It just falls over, and I’ve bowled enough games to know this can’t possibly happen every single time. Because finesse bowling is out of the question, you eventually just pick a ball, flick the screen and hope for the best. Strikes seem random no matter where you throw it. I’ve even gotten a strike hitting the 4 pin. In real life, we have a better chance of being invaded by aliens then of that ever happening in bowling alley.

If you exit the game in the middle of a match, it doesn’t auto save and you must start over. You also cannot create your own character, so whatever high score you get is the high score of the character you chose. You don’t get to choose being a right-handed or left-handed bowler, so lefties like myself are stuck bowling right-handed. No tournaments, no climbing the bowling ladder or accessories for your bowler. No laser or cosmic night bowling that been so popular in bowling alleys lately. Just as well, since they have so many other issues that need to be fixed first.

Your character doesn’t actually perform the motion of bowling. Each bowler stands at the foul line and throws the ball, something you see six year olds and your grandmother do. Graphics are okay, but there’s minimal animation. Background noise and sound effects are pretty good but the music is annoying and I turned it off.

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